Hard Knox Rollergirls

The Hard Knox Rollergirls are Knoxville's first competitive roller derby team. Come see what all the fuss is about.

September Featured Skater: Lyda-Kain

This season as flown by way too fast, but that isn’t going to stop us from putting an awesome, talented skater in the spotlight to continue to learn about what makes Hard Knox an incredible group of people. In that group is one special gal! She has put her time into the league, has a special partner to skate with, and some great fashion. September’s featured skater is Lyda-Kain! This amazing woman is part of a great league we all know and love as the Hard Knox Roller Girls!

Congratulations to you on being September’s featured skater! Last month’s featured skater, Mix Tape, wants to know how it feels to be on the team and skate with or against your own husband. Please enlighten us all on how that is for you.

Well, I originally thought that it would be fun to show him who's boss, lol, but it turns out in scrimmage, he's just another body. I forget he's got different plumbing than me. Although, a few practices ago, we were doing a drill, I was the jammer and he kept pushing Wicked Wench into me in a way that our feet kept getting all tangled up. I got really irritated. I reset myself and decided to take care of the problem, so when I hit the wall, I barreled into him knocking him on his rear. I have to say, it felt wonderful!

I bet your household can be a lot of hip checks for extra practice. You have been with Hard Knox Roller Girls for three years now; you must have some good stories to be told. I would love to hear at least one of those stories.

Do I have any good stories? How do I choose just one?! I guess I'll go 100% and tell my most embarrassing one. It's about my first derby injury. Well, I say it's a derby injury because it happened at a derby wedding. I was at Bushwhacker and Throb Zombies wedding, and after consuming an incredible amount of alcohol I decided that the bathroom was way too far to walk to, so I squatted behind a tree. During my business, I ended up losing my balance, and fell backwards onto either a root or a rock and obliterated my tailbone. I tried to grab the grass in front of me to stop myself. Who knew grass has practically no tinsel strength.... I was off skates for 4 months and the proud new owner of McDavid's padded shorts.

I do remember that wedding, which makes you think again about how far you need to walk for a bathroom. That is one story that will never be lived down, let alone out done! In everyday life, we all read others stories on social media, Facebook is the most common. Recently, I have seen on Facebook something called the “sea hag” club, can you explain this?

Oh yes, Sea hag, It's a club for those who survive derby after 40. I'm not entirely sure if it's worldwide or just our team but that has always been a goal of mine. Skate long enough to be inducted into the club. My goal as a member is to get us all together for a photo shoot using wrinkle releaser and a few irons as props. It sounds silly, but as far as I'm concerned it's quite an achievement. So many people seem to think that life after 40 should be the beginning of the end. To be an active and tough gal, who laughs in the face of age, is quite an honor.

For those who don’t know you, you have two wonderful boys that are very active in helping the league in as many ways as possible. How does it make you feel to have your sons support you and also have one of them taking photographs during the bouts?

I love having my kids be part of Derby! I hope that I'm teaching them to commit, to sacrifice, to be generous and to face fear and obstacles. As parents it’s our job to do the best we can to raise productive members of society. These kids will be running our country one day. I'd like to know I've done my part. I want my kids to see that no matter how hard it is, as long as you are passionate, you can succeed. I'm very proud of Gage for taking photographs. He is very passionate about it and it gives him a way to practice and learn his passion while I do the same.

It's such a common question, but how did you come up with your skater name?

Derby names are rather difficult to choose. You have to make sure it's not already taken, especially if you might play another team. It's like showing up to the party wearing the exact same outfit as someone else. It took me about 5 months, I'd try one on for size and nothing seemed to fit just right. Then one day, I was lying in bed watching a show called Deadly Women. Mind you I was almost asleep. It was set back in the 1800's and this woman took 6, yes 6, of her husband's lives by dehydrating arsenic off of fly paper. Her name was Lyda. In my almost slumber state I thought, hmm, Lyda. That's a cool name. I wonder what I can come up with. Then it hit me! Lyda-Kain (lidocaine)! They always say you'll find your skater name in the most random places.

There is so much more to this Lyda-Kain than meets the eye. Do you have something odd or unique about you that most people don’t know?

Once again, how do I choose just one? There's plenty about me that's odd and unique. I can touch the tip of my tongue to my nose. Also, I write poetry. I was "Made in Germany" and my mom said had I been born there she would have tattooed it on my butt. The list goes on and on.

Speaking of tattoos, I know that there are a few girls that have tattoos for Hard Knox and the love of their sport, would you have any that are Hard Knox related?

I have the Lolitas Locas skates tattooed on my wrist, but I don't have any Hard Knox tattoos... YET! I plan on calling my artist very soon. Even though I've been on the team for 3 years, I wanted to wait until I skated in my first game before branding myself for life. It just seemed like the most respectful thing to do.

Let’s take a break from chatting about derby so much, I have a fun one for you! If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why?

Crikey! I didn't realize how hard these questions would be! I have so many interests that I sometimes wonder if I have multiple personalities. If I had to choose a career, I would probably like to work with Dolphins and Orca's. Those are my favorite animals. I've always been fascinated by them.

I have seen you with this league for as long as I have skated, you come to the bouts all decked out! I would love to know your secret on where you get such cute things and how many different tutus and tights could one derby gal own?

Ah yes, I've been trying to win best Bout fit for years! Curse you Kool-Aid! I put a lot of thought into what I wear, I love, love, love to dress up! I usually go to Hot Topic, Spencer’s, and Party City. It's quite expensive but I really enjoy being creative with it. Derby is the one place (next to Halloween) where you can dress as crazy as you want and you don't get labeled as Weird.

I have another common question. I would love to know if you have a derby role model or someone you like to learn from and why?

It's no secret that EviLucia (soon to be Dr. Evil) has always been my role model. I've managed to keep my obsession with her and how she skates under control and haven't been charged with stalking yet lol. She's just straight up phenomenal!!! I tell people she was obviously born with skates on her feet. I strive to be like her one day. In recent news, she's announced she leaving Hard Knox and I told her that I was going to really miss her. Her response? She told me: Now it's your turn to be that for someone else. She's set the bar very high, but I accept the challenge.

Just when you think that I gave you all the hard questions, I have another one, of course it’s not derby related either! If you had one million dollars, what would you spend it on and why?

The responsible me would put it in the bank and let it gain interest. The derby girl in me would use it to purchase property and build the most epic skating facility, one that could allow us to play bouts and work out, kind of our own Coliseum. I really want us to be able to have a place to call home!

Now that this season has come and gone, every skater must have some type of goals they set for themselves for next season as they reflect on this past season. What are your goals for next season?

Transitions, Transitions, Transitions. I have plenty of things I need to work on but transitions are my nemesis. So I'm going to punch my fear right in the face and get them down. I'd also like to work on trying to jam more. I'm incredibly awful at it, but I'm a glutton for punishment.

I have learned so much about the layers of Lyda-Kain, who would you like to pass the torch to for October’s Featured Skater and why?

I would like to see Cut n Dye as our featured skater for October. She's been by my side helping me learn since I've started. I think it's time to hear what makes her gears turn behind that mask of hers!

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